Five word coffee shop reviews

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Peaberry, Charman Rd Cheltenham
Coffee good, not open enough

Café Del Amore, Charman Rd Cheltenham
Cafe 253, we miss you

Pure, Centre Rd Bentleigh
That’s a café? Good coffee.

Bluefoot, Charman Rd Cheltenham
Nice. Also try their breakfasts.

Kicco, Balcombe Rd Beaumaris
Strong coffee, thick hot chocolates.

Café Randa, Centre Rd Bentleigh
Not bad, can find better

Starbucks, everywhere
The Antichrist of coffee. Resist

Gloria Jeans, everywhere
GJ at Borders? The end.

Café Vespa, Southland Shopping Centre
Not bad. My Southland fave

Café Vini Spuntini, Chadstone Shopping Centre
Good strong coffee. Nice food

Café Marlon, Chadstone Shopping Centre
Go nowhere else in Chadstone

Coffee Club, everywhere
Only chain worth going to

Add your own in the comments!

UPDATE: more!

Kaleidoscope Café, Sydney Rd Brunswick
The vibe and the coffee

Café 38, Stables Shopping Centre, Mill Park
Nice, but sooo far away

The Den, Monash University Clayton Campus
Adequate coffee in the dark

Mizzy’s Café, Keilor Rd Niddrie
Was good, is it still?

Café Addiction, Keilor Rd Niddrie
Not bad, but Mizzy’s better

McDonald’s McCafe, everywhere
You gotta be kidding me

Bay Swiss, Southland and other places
Yeah baby, yeah yeah yeah

Red Corner Café, Southland
Makes good revolutionary coffee, comrade

Hudson’s Coffee, spreading like gangrene across multiple locations
Why cinnamon instead of chocolate?

From Jason:
Coffee Bar, 2nd floor Institute of Molecular Biology (near my office), Taipei
“as good as it gets”

Come on people, more five word reviews! Now that we have gone international, what’s to stop us writing a five word review of every coffee shop IN THE WORLD??? Nothing, that’s what. So get cracking.

UPDATE: You wanted more? Here it is:

From Pete:
The Lake, McLeod Rd, Patterson Lakes
Burnt coffee, rude staff, don’t

Cafe Buenta, Young St, Frankston
Nice breakfasts, very reasonably priced

Cheesy’s, Dandenong Plaza
Good coffee in Dandenong? Yes.

La Porchetta’s, Carrum Downs and loads of other places
Possibly world’s most inconsistent coffee

Vine Food Store, Watton St, Werribee
Sorry, but not strong enough

Brown Cow Café, Hampton St, Hampton
I can’t go past it

Café Delight, Charman Rd, Cheltenham
Comfy seats and decent coffee

Chapelli’s, Chapel St, South Yarra
Rude staff but great coffee

UPDATE: Full list of reviews, with over 100 entries, is now at Coffee Shop Reviews.


About Markk

Markk is an iOS developer.
This entry was posted in Coffee, Five word coffee shop reviews, Starbucks. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Five word coffee shop reviews

  1. jason says:

    Coffee Bar @ 2nd floor Institute of Molecular Biology (near my office),
    NT $15 per cup, “asgoodas itgets”

  2. Markk says:

    $15 per cup ????? oh wait , 60 cents australian? Is that right?

  3. jason says:

    that’s correct my dear friend

  4. Dude, this is the best resource on the web. Can you review some down the Mornington Peninsula for me?

    Keep up the good work. It’s a great excuse to drink more coffee anyway…

  5. Markk says:

    Unfortunately I don’t head down that way very often nowadays. I know you must have a couple of faves, though.

    One tricky thing about this is remembering the names of the coffee shops. Reviews aren’t too helpful if they’re about, erm, that place, you know, that one on the main street …

    I’ve tried the yellow pages but many of em don’t come up under “cafes” for some reason.

    Still, I reckon there’s a couple more reviews up my sleeve. Watch this space!

  6. Here’s one for ya:

    The Lake, McLeod Rd, Patterson Lakes
    Burnt coffee, rude staff, don’t.

  7. Pingback: More five word coffee shop reviews « My Opinions Are Important

  8. steve says:

    St. Ali, South Melbourne
    Roast own Coffee… Must Try!

  9. Markk says:

    Thanks for that Steve. I didn’t know about that place, but I’ll have to check it out. I’ll add it to the main list.

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