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Tell me you’re not at least a little disturbed by the following:

#1: Cat-O-Vision
A team of scientists hacked into a cat’s brain and created a video of what the cat was seeing.

#2: We Have Ways Of Making You Purr
Restricting sleep to two hours a night, enforced by use of a treadmill. Sounds like a Guantanamo Bay interrogation technique, does it not? No, this is science. You’ll be pleased to know that restricting sleep results in a greater proportion of REM sleep in cats.

#3: Cats In Spaaaace
How do cats react to zero gravity? Do they handle it better than dogs? This is the scientific question of our times and only now has it been answered.

#4: I’m Not Hungry. (Bzzt.) Actually, I Am.
Scientists obtained complete control over a cat’s mind. By remote control, they could make the cat hungry, thirsty, or itchy, or even make it more aggressive or affectionate. Note that they did not force the cat to eat; they only made it desire to eat.

#5: Just Gimme One More Bowl
Do cats prefer spiked milk to ordinary milk? Only science could provide the answer. A series of experiments was performed that subjected cats to extreme stress until they became alcoholics, or masochistic, deliberately exposing themselves to repeated electric shocks.

BONUS: The Scratching Post Is Melting
Giving LSD to cats. Does this qualify as science? Discuss.

(This post is at least partly inspired by the Top 5 Group Writing Project at ProBlogger.)